Thoughts at LAX

I’m sitting at a restaurant table in Terminal 5. As I drown my anxious, semi-nauseous stomach with its 3rd chocolate dessert of the day, it sets in that I’ll be flying across the country to the city that never sleeps. Which is pretty ironic, seeing as I too, never sleep (cue drum sting).

All jokes aside, I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I keep leaving places and people of comfort to foolishly dive head first into uncertainty. I never truly have a set in stone plan, I mostly get an opportunity and seize it without second thought. Normally fearlessly too, but this time around is a little different. I’m not sure what scares me more – the thought of living in a new place with little to no notice (2 weeks), or the thought that I may fall in love with New York’s magic and may not want to come back.

I was the little girl who dreamt of reading romance novels on a shitty fire escape attached to an even smaller and shittier apartment in New York. I wanted to live and breathe in all of the good, bad and fabulous I believed the city had to offer. Being a know-all mogul in the fashion industry was my goal and it felt extremely tangible thanks to my favorite shows at the time – Project Runway and Sex in The City (probably shouldn’t have been watching that as a 10 year old lol). Kid you not – I was cutting the attached sports bras out of my shirts and using the fabric to design gowns for my Barbie dolls. Don’t even get me started with the dresses I used to make out of mom’s old table cloths.. lol. I’ve always had big New York dressed dreams and the most stubborn reaction to the word “no”.

It’s easy to settle, and even easier to accept no’s and rejection. Shit – when I quit my full time job back in December I frantically applied to hundreds of jobs and heard more no’s than I can even remember (or want to haha). Through what feels like the lowest of lows, remember that rejection doesn’t define who you are, your career path or even life path. When you’re meant to be somewhere and truly excel, the universe will stop closing doors and saying no. Give it time, but also give it good energy and take action.


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